#43 One more year… gone
In a couple of weeks, the year will be over, and I cannot stop myself from thinking that I should reflect on what these last twelve months have given me. I don't write bucket lists, I don’t take enough photos, and most of the time I forget to wish for things when I blow out my candles or see the year end, but I believe in new traditions. Let this be a new one, a good one.
On January 6th, I signed the contract to publish my first novel, and my daughter turned sixteen. Both events made me realize how vital the passing of time is, how impossible it is to stop people from growing, and things from changing. Everything changes, and that's good. Almost seventeen years later, my life is so different that, some days, I can't stop myself from laughing. I thought then that everything was clear, that in five years I would have my forever position and that having a kid would not mean anything for my career. Yes, I know, I was naive, which was deeply connected to my age. Who really knows what will happen to them at thirty? One of the few things I was right about was that I would make something of myself. If that's good or bad... well, that depends on who you pop the question to.
On March 3rd, it was my 18th together-anniversary with my dear partner in crime, who will soon become my husband. This proves that good things take time, and awesome ones require a bit more. People around the globe have laughed when we told them about our plans, and we laughed with them. This might sound cheesy, and I apologize if it raises your blood sugar levels, but the truth is that finding him was one of the best things that happened to me. From a very selfish point of view, he made me better. From a romantic one, I don't want to imagine myself without him by my side, so... yes, I guess years have made me a bit softer, but the truth is, I don't mind a bit. I might have some regrets in life, but I can't regret him and what we built together.
In April, we — my partner, our three kids, and I— visited Japan, one of those bucket-list destinations for many and something we'd talked about for years. What had always been a "maybe" quickly transformed into a "Let's go," and now, I have to find another excuse to keep gathering air miles, think of a new place to visit, and plan another adventure. Those two weeks seem now very distant, but the fact that we were able to pull it off says something: dreams can come true, even the wild ones. Growing up, I didn't travel much. When I started to work, I got used to planes, and being able to do this with your family is just tremendous. What an opportunity.
In June, I finished the manuscript for my second novel and had it reviewed by a professional editor. By July, I had a version ready to be shared with my publisher. After that, I went on holiday with the family and, for the first time in many years — disregarding those that kept everyone grounded for health's sake —I spent only two weeks out of The Netherlands. Summer in northern Europe is not everyone's cup of tea, but the weather behaved more or less, and the time flew, probably because we were having fun and I kept working on some edits...
September arrived, school restarted, and in October, a new roller coaster mode in life was activated. I visited the Frankfurt Book Fair, fell on my face (not literally, but it hurt as much), cut my foot (that happened for real), got feedback on my second book (positive!), and turned 47. I celebrated a Halloween party at home too, the first after twenty-something years, which was a firm statement that things only stop happening if you let them.
November was tough. It might have been because of the dark days or, perhaps, because things that hurt us, one day, hurt too much, so I decided to work on it. December is here, and between Christmas presents, family visits, and "To Do" lists to take care of before the year ends, I'm busy. I'm writing too: two new novels, a children's book, and edits for my second novel... the edits never end, the work never stops, people come and go, and all I can say is:
Thank you all.
To those who love me, who make me laugh, roll my eyes, and even cry.
To those who crossed my life and made it better.
To the few that are gone, and I can't kiss anymore.
To the rest, have a good life.
