#44 Happy new whatevers

Here we are, in the season when we reassure ourselves that everything will get better, brighter, and that we'll finally lose the mysterious weight gained during recent months. Maybe, with enough optimism, we’ll even return to the gym. The things we plan after a couple of extra glasses of wine—who knows?

Five days have gone by, and my resolutions have been slightly crushed by the excess of leftovers in my fridge. I should be smart enough not to say I’d start a better diet and host a New Year’s Eve dinner at my place. Silly me. I ended the old year with delicious food and started the new one regretting my choices, but here we are, looking forward to the next 360 days to redeem myself.

So, yes, I promised myself that I would take care of this ageing body— who knew my knees could make so funny noises?— but I did something else too.  I swore I would not  let myself go down the rabbit hole of “just one more” mentality that has driven my existence since I can remember myself as a human being. Funny, eh? How can anyone part ways with something that seems to define them?

I won't bore you with the collection of thoughts I’ve been having lately about how to improve myself. Even when I try to do less, I end up doing more than I should. But now, for some reason, I don’t want to. Not like I used to. Maybe it is the age and the cracking noises from my bones and articulations, but I’d rather think that age has brought some level of wisdom, the capacity to look back and reflect.

So, I’m now mentally tearing my list of things to do, and committing instead to a “feel-good stuff” dream. Whatever makes me feel better, whatever makes me laugh, whatever gives me a sense of purpose. I commit to all those whatevers, old or new, but mostly the new... great hopes incoming.